Hello, friends! Just a couple of days to go until Aida’s official due date–yikes! When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wasn’t going to be one of those pregnant ladies who posted weekly “bumpdates.” I just knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up with it, and I never felt like things changed enough on a week-to-week basis to post an update about it. Although I wish I had taken more bump pictures just for myself to see the changes, overall I don’t have any regrets about this pregnancy.
As I’m nearing the end, I thought it would be nice to reflect on the past nine months and try to write down all the little things about pregnancy I want to remember. A fellow blogger, Chelsea, who just gave birth to a real handsome fellow named Jack, did weekly posts like this, but since I’m always late to the game I guess I will just do one giant post to cover the entire pregnancy.
– The terrifying realization that I was about to take a pregnancy test, and I knew with certainty it was going to come back positive.
– The overwhelming joy and fear that followed said pregnancy test.
– I remember how Matt and I spent the day in Old Towne Alexandria, and we debated all day about when to tell our parents. I was so scared to tell anyone for fear that this special gift would be taken away, but finally Matt said, “I think you will feel a lot better if you tell your parents today.” As usual, he was right.
– Telling my parents that Millie was going to be a big sister, and after the excitement died down (i.e., my mom almost bursting into tears of joy), my dad said, “so you’re getting another puppy?” Classic!
– Going shopping at Gap with a close friend a week later, and finding myself drawn to a little onesie covered in pink seahorses. I picked it up, she looked at me and said, “I just know in my heart that you’re going to have a girl.” I said, “I think so too.”
– Seeing our little peanut the first time on an ultrasound–she was kicking and waving and already had our hearts.
– Agonizing over whether or not I should be drinking coffee. Out of control emotions that could only be calmed by caffeine won that argument.
– Eagerly awaiting the start of a new week on my WebMD pregnancy app so I could find out what type of produce she would be compared to. Before we knew her gender for sure, she was known as “Pommy,” (pomegranate seed), “straw-ba” (strawberry), and “BP” (bell pepper), among others.
– The day we found out her gender and we were both wearing blue, even though I was convinced she was a girl. That was the day we also got to start calling her by name–Aida.
– Being able to tell family and friends in person the special news, and seeing their reactions.
– Feeling the tiniest bit of panic before every doctor’s appointment, because what if something was wrong?
– Dreaming up ideas for her nursery, and slowly putting it together with Matt.
– Writing letters to her in a beautiful, Lilly Pultizer notebook I bought before we knew the gender. Also, reading the letters Matt wrote and getting teary eyed!
– The first few times I felt her flutter around inside of me, and knowing this was one of the greatest feelings in the world. Then, about a month later, as I tried to calm myself while flying across country by myself, I felt her kicking around and was comforted because I knew I was never alone.
– Bringing home and putting away so many generous gifts from family, friends, and co-workers, and just feeling in awe of how lucky we are to have such an amazing support system.
– Sitting and chatting with my mom while we folded and put away her first load of laundry.
– Sharing the joys and traumas of pregnancy with my friend and neighbor–she is six weeks behind me and we’re in it together!
– Googling pictures of dogs and newborns and feeling all the emotions.
– Lying awake at night and feeling more anxiety than I ever had–wondering if I would be a good mother, if we would survive those first sleepless months, and if Millie would adjust.
The truth is, I have been very lucky to have a healthy first pregnancy. That obviously hasn’t stopped me from worrying over every little thing, but at some point in the past few days I finally feel like I’ve let go of a lot of my anxieties and place my trust in God (no big deal, only took about nine months to make that happen). I have all the nerves about what awaits us on the other side, but Matt and I are more than ready to get started.