The worst part is, most of the time someone makes that assumption about your mood, you’re NOT EVEN PMS-ing. Friends, I’ll be honest, I don’t even know if I legitimately have PMS. I mean, I’m no doctor, but from years of reading Glamour and Cosmo I can deduce that the symptoms have to be pretty severe before it’s actually PMS.
It’s time, ladies. It’s time for us to take back PMS. We may not have it, it may not even be the time for it, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a golden opportunity like this pass me up. Anytime you get super moody, want to eat a pizza by yourself, or start crying in the middle of a work meeting, just shrug your shoulders and say “PMS!” Nobody will dare challenge you on that, because hey, you’re PMS-ing and you might just stab a guy.
Here’s my list of all the things I plan to blame on PMS:
– Opening up a package of double stuf oreos and not stopping until they are all gone.
– Crying through the end of a cinematic work of art such as Geek Charming.
– Not changing out of my pajamas for an entire day, not even when I make a trip to the Taco Bell drive-thru
– Pouring myself that second glass of Malbec.
– Bypassing my healthy lunch of turkey breast on whole wheat for a #1 at Mcdonald’s.
– Buying those pull-apart and bake cookies, but only making about half because I already ate the dough.
– Spending only ten minutes in Target, but I somehow have $75 worth of totally unnecessary items.
– Crying because I poured milk on my cereal without checking the expiration date.
– Getting a pedicure, even though it’s the middle of winter.
– Pity parties, and lots of them.
What will you be blaming on PMS this week?